


If You Leave

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: F/M, Friendship, Pre-Canon, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-13
Updated: 2013-09-13
Packaged: 2017-12-26 12:12:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/965784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A relationship, especially a potentially long distance one, was not something to enter into if both people weren’t ready to commit 150%.  Who wanted to do that after only knowing each other a few months?</p>
            </blockquote>





	If You Leave

** NOVEMBER 1985 **

“California…wow.”

“I know.” Alex smiled.

“I just…that’s a big move. California…wow.”

“The acceptance letter came last week. My mom read it to me over the phone. I also got a partial scholarship but the rest I'm going to have to take out in student loans. I don’t care,” she shrugged. “I wanted to get in so bad, I thought I wouldn’t get in…and I got in.”

“Why did you think you wouldn’t get in?” James asked as he sipped his milkshake. “You're really smart, Alex; you know this stuff.”

“But this is Stanford; it’s Ivy League. It’s not just one of the best schools in the nation but one of the best schools in the world. And its Linguistics program is consistently in the top 3 programs in the world. Not many schools have it so the ones who do are highly competitive. Did you know as a whole they only let in 20% of their applicants last year. And they accepted me.”

“You graduated magna cum laude from Georgetown University, then went on to get your Master’s degree from there. You're about to graduate close to the top of your class from the FBI Academy. Stanford would’ve been idiots not to accept you. They're going to want to put you in the brochure.”

“I've been thinking about dying my hair red.” Alex laughed. “Should I do that before or after I become a California model?”

“I was hoping you’d stay close, maybe go back to Georgetown.” James said.

“I did get into the program. I just needed a change of scenery. I hope after graduation to come back to DC and work for the FBI and teach at Georgetown. If I got my doctorate from there I’d want to move on. There are some great Linguistics programs at a lot of schools but Georgetown has become a second home. We all have to leave home eventually.”

“So you have it all planned out?”

“Oh God, no.” she laughed again. “I could be in California for three years and I'm going to have to be waivered by the Bureau because they expect grads to jump right into field work. There are still so many things I need to do, not to mention one more month left at the Academy. And classes don’t start at Stanford until January so there’s that gap as well. I’ll have to find a place to live and already have a line on a job out there as a sign language instructor.”

“It sounds like you have it mostly planned out. I'm happy for you Alex.”

“Thanks. I've just been focused on this goal for so long. It’s all coming together and I want to pinch myself. I keep thinking something is going to happen to keep me from realizing it.”

“You're going to be just fine.” He reached across the table and caressed her hand. 

James liked Alex. He thought he might like Alex more than she liked him. He never had any intention of liking Alex but life had a way of throwing you all kinds of curveballs. California might be the biggest one yet. 

He knew that she was busy, he was as well. But for the first time in longer than James could remember, he wanted this. A relationship, especially a potentially long distance one, was not something to enter into if both people weren’t ready to commit 150%. Who wanted to do that after only knowing each other a few months? 

“Maybe we can be pen pals. I can send you coded letters and you can break them.”

“I had a pen pal when I was in 4th grade; she was from Canada.” Alex said. “I kept all of those letters. I would love to be pen pals. You have to keep me up on everything happening here. Who else am I going to gossip with about Erin and Mark?”

“I think he just added becoming the Reagans to his 10 year plan.”

“You're bad.” She laughed. 

Alex ate more of her ice cream. It was a cold night but she didn’t care. James invited her out for dessert at the Georgetown Diner. He was on call but assured her that stepping away from the hospital was OK. He was a resident now and had interns to do the grunt work. 

He could be reached quickly by beeper and there was a pay phone right in the diner to call. Alex almost said no. She didn’t want him to brush off work for her and there was plenty of studying to do back at the dorms. But she wanted to see James. 

It had been nearly two weeks since they took a trip to the movies. She found she could just be herself with him. He didn’t care if she rambled on and on about dialects of the nomadic tribes of Papua New Guinea. He listened to her. Even more important, he understood her. 

“I'm going to miss you when you leave. I thought I had more time.”

“More time for what?”

“I don't know.” James shrugged. “More time to sweep you off your feet…or something.”

“Or something?” Alex raised an eyebrow.

“I do remember mentioning that I wasn’t good at this. That doesn’t mean I don’t want to be.”

“I'm going to California, James, not Istanbul. And even if I was going to Istanbul, so what. There are telephones and stationary and hundreds of thousands of ways for us to communicate.”

“One of my favorites is kissing.” He couldn’t believe he said it but he said it.

“OK, that one is tough with 2400 miles between us. But there are hundreds of thousands of other ways.”

“I know. That’s the part I don’t like. But I've got plans too. My residency is over next August. If I'm lucky I'm going to get a two year fellowship at Brigham and Women’s in Boston for Pediatrics. The competition is stiff but I'm going for it anyway. If that doesn’t work out then maybe CHOP in Philly. After the fellowship, the sky’s the limit.”

“I didn’t think you wanted to be a pediatrician.” Alex said.

“Well kids are the future so I think it’s important to know how to treat them, generally. They’re quite different from adults, as you know, so I’ll need more than just my internal medicine skills. I think with the triple threat of internal medicine, general surgery, and pediatrics I can be very valuable to the world.”

“Your smile helps too.”

“See, its things like that make me want to kiss you Alex Blake.”

“No one’s stopping you, you know.”

“We’re in a crowded diner.” James reasoned.

“C'mere.” She leaned forward, taking hold of his shirt. James didn’t fight it as she pulled him into a sweet kiss. She liked it so much she did it twice.

“Don’t go to California and forget about me.” He said, fingers running over his lips.

“I won't.”

“Promise? And I have no right to ask that but I'm asking anyway and I apologize in advance.”

“I promise. How can I when we’re going to be pen pals?”

“As much as I don’t want you to go, I have to admit I'm really going to like that part. It'll be like having something of you I can save and carry around with me.”

Alex nodded, knowing she needed to get going soon. There was still time to study…she couldn’t stay out all night. But it was hard when she was with James. She found she could just talk and talk and he could talk and talk. It wasn’t often that Alex found someone to be with so effortlessly. 

She’d been looking for signs that he wasn’t what he appeared. Often that wasn’t easy to see in people. They hid under so many layers and lives; it’s what made them so fascinating. So far she hadn’t picked up any bad vibes on James. There was still time though. Alex found herself liking him more and more even as she tried to talk herself out of it.

“It’s almost time to go isn’t it?” James asked.

“I want to get some reading done before bed tonight. And it’s up at 6 a.m. for an invigorating run.”

“You're going to be issued a Glock…you don’t need to know how to run.”

Alex laughed. She finished off the rest of her ice cream as James asked for the check.

“I'm glad you were able to get away from the hospital for a little while.” She said.

“I think we’re good for each other that way. We pull each other away before we go overboard but we also know how important the work is.”

“You don’t have to keep selling us, James. I like us too.”

“Oh.” He smiled. “OK. I'm sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for? I hope you're not apologizing for liking me.”

“I'm not.” James shook his head. “We probably both need to get back though.”

Alex hadn’t even looked at her watch. That was saying something since she always wanted to know the time. She needed to make sure there was enough time to read, study, sleep, exercise, or call home to say hello. Time was something there never seemed to be enough of. She smiled, reaching across the table for his hand again.

After paying the check, they left the diner. James held Alex’s hand as they walked to her car. It was a cold night; winter was on its way. Seasons was something she would miss in California.

“I’ll give you a call tomorrow.” He said when they got to her old Volvo.

“You could come with me.” Alex said.

“What?”

“I'm going to drive to California…you can come with me. I want to see this country and what better way to do it than a road trip. I’d love if we could do that together.”

“A road trip to California?”

“Yes.” She put her arms around his neck.

“I’d love to. I'm not sure if I’ll be able to get the time off but I’ll speak with my supervisor. It’s a little nerve wracking to think about you making that trip alone.”

“You want to keep me safe, James Blake?”

“Yes I do, Alex Blake.” He kissed her.

They stood outside of her car hugging. Alex managed to pull herself away from him but it wasn’t easy. The couple, though they didn’t refer to themselves as such, hadn’t been sexual. She was enjoying getting to know him as a person. They talked on the phone, met up for lunch or dinner; liked talking to one another. 

The few kisses they shared were nice but Alex wasn’t in a rush to dive into anything. She was leaving, wasn’t sure she wanted to know what she was missing. James could be someone awesome in her life. She wasn’t quite sure if she wanted to mess that up with some fleeting sex thing. If it was meant to be then they could wait.

“If you get to do anything cool later, call me.” Alex said.

“I don’t want to wake you. Drive safely, OK?”

She nodded and went around to the driver’s side of the car. Once inside, Alex started the ignition and turned down the local rock station. James waved from the curb; she did the same as she pulled off. She crossed her fingers that they'd be able to make that trip across the country together. Alex wanted some adventure in her life. 2400 miles of road stretched out ahead of them, not to mention the rest of their lives, would definitely qualify.

***


End file.
